Take Me Under
by jasmineice
Summary: Jude's second tour is turned upside down by the arrival of an unexpected visitor and the choices she's forced to make.
1. He Came Back

**For those of you reading this on DLS, I'm just reposting it because with all the UNNECESSARY drama going around DLS I'd feel more comfortable knowing my story is being hosted by someone other than Melissa. I'll still post on there if and when the boards come back online but I'd like to have a backup on here.**

**If you were reading Blondes Have More Fun or Beautiful Disaster which I posted on here a few months ago I don't know yet what's going to happen with those. But this stories getting followed through to the end, you have my word.**

**Warning: It's rated M for a reason. Strong language and Adult situations. If you can't handle that I suggest not reading. Otherwise enjoy!**

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His eyes roamed over her body, carefully taking note of the way her black clothes clung tightly against her frail figure. His ears drank in the long missed sound of her voice as it echoed through the stadium. She sounded amazing, she looked strong and vibrant. But he knew different. She was weak, shattered, falling apart bit by bit and nobody knew, nobody noticed. And it was his fault. He was the cause of her grief. He was the reason she didnt eat more than the occassional sandwich Spiederman shoved at her. He was the inspiration of the pain-ridden lyrics currently booming through the speakers that surrounded her. It was all him. And now he was the only one who could fix it.

An exhausted thank you escaped her lips as the crowd burst out in applause at the end of her final song. She forced a broad and appreciative smile across her face before retiring to backstage. Spiederman threw an arm over her shoulders and whispered "you did good" into her ear. She smiled up at him and nodded her thanks before heading back to her dressing room.

This was it. Months after abandoning her without even the slightest explaination, he now stood only 10 feet away. Their only barrier was the inch of wood that served as her dressing room door. With his heart pounding in his chest he raised him hand to knock, only to have the door swing open before he had the chance.

There she stood, gaping up at him in wonder like she had seen a ghost. Shaking her head slowly she backed away from him, her lower lip quivering as tears threatened to overcome her.

"Jude," he breathed, the need to explain heavy on his tone. But she wouldn't let him continue.

"Go away Tommy," she said through clenched teeth, obviously trying not to yell. He took a step towards her and she took another step back.

"I just wanna talk," he explained, trying desperately to calm her down.

"TALK?" she screamed at him. "YOU ABANDONED ME YOU BASTARD! WE WERE _FINALLY_ GOING SOMEWHERE! WE WERE BOTH FINALLY READY TO GET OVER ALL THIS SHIT THATS HELD US BACK AND YOU DECIDED TO WALK AWAY WITHOUT SO MUCH AS AN EXPLAINATION! AND NOW YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO SHOW UP HERE? _FUCK YOU!_" At this point tears were spilling freely down her cheeks. Tommy took another step foreward and reached his hand up to her cheek in an attempt to comfort her, but Jude slapped it away.

"Don't you touch me," she said quietly, yet angrily enough for him to move away. Another voice was heard approaching the dressing room.

"Jude is everything ok i heard...yelling," Speed trailed off as he saw Tommy standing in front of Jude, and saw the tears heavy on her face. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"He was just leaving," Jude seethed. Tommy turned back to face her, his eyes pleading.

"Jude please, just hear me out-"

"I don't care if you left to rescue a drowning baby from a well Tommy," Jude hissed angrily. "You could've told me, you could've called. You've been gone for 6 months. And I've been on tour for two, why are you just now deciding to come after me?"

Tommy sighed heavily. "Jude it's complicated..."

"And you wanna know the worst part?" Jude asked with a sad laugh. "I really had myself believing you loved me back."

"I did, I do I just-"

"I don't wanna hear it. Just leave."

"I think you should," Speed interjected. Tommy glared at him and then turned back to Jude.

"I'm staying at the Holiday Inn for tonight. If you wanna talk to me before you head off for your next stop, I'll be waiting. Room 112." She looked up at him and shook her head with fury in her eyes. Tommy just nodded and turned to leave. As Jude watched the familiar image of his retreating back, Speed came up and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"You ok?" he whispered to her gently. Jude just turns in his arms and buried her face in his chest.

"It's ok," he whispered, gently kissing the top of her head. "I know you miss him." Jude shook her head and pulled back a little.

"I want him to burn in hell. Tom Quincey is a memory, he doesn't matter anymore," and with that she walked out of her dressing room, leaving Speed looking after her helplessly.

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Comments, feedback, even insults if you think it was that bad...all greatly appreciated 


	2. The Explaination

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Jude laid sprawled out on her bed on the tourbus, her mind racing a mile a minute as her eyes burned the image of the ceiling into her memory. The past 6 months replayed themselves in her mind. His abrupt goodbye, that night in Barrie, her father helping her scrounge up the money to keep those pictures out of the tabloids, the broken heart that still reflected in Spiederman's eyes even though he had been doing his damndest to help her through hers. But in the end her thoughts drifted back to _him_, to everything that was said earlier. After what felt like an eternity he had come back for her. He wanted to explain but she wouldn't let him. Jude reached up and wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes. She already lost part of herself when she lost him, she can't lose anymore. Not this time, not when there's something she can do about it.

Her door creaked slightly as she began her attempt at a graceful midnight exit. Jude flinched and froze, listening carefully for any other movement on the bus. Everything seemed still, so she padded forward towards the front of the bus, the carpet silencing her footsteps. With only the light from nearby streetlights illuminating the darkness around her, she was forced to grope blindly for the door handle. After what seemed like forever her hand closed over the cool metal, and quietly she turned it.

"You're going to meet him, aren't you?" a voice broke through the stillness of the night. Jude gasped and jumped back, turning to face the voice.

"Speed?" she hissed into the darkness. He got up off the couch and walked over to her, leaning against the door so she couldn't open it. Jude sighed in defeat.

"Speed, please move."

"You're setting yourself up again." Jude rolled her eyes and tried to move him out of the way but he firmly grabbed her by the shoulders and held her in front of him. "It has been 6 months Jude you were finally getting over him, he broke your heart remember?"

"And I need to find out why!" Speed looked down and reluctantly released his grip on her.

"I know you don't like Tommy," Jude continued a little more calmly. "But there's a reason he left and I want to know what it is."

"He hasn't called, emailed, tried to contact you in any way until now. You weren't even worth 5 minutes of his time why do you think he wants to see you so bad all of a sudden?"

"I don't know, but I'm gonna find out, now move before we wake up Kyle and Wally."

"You'll call me if you need anything?" Jude nodded in agreement. "Ok, but take care of yourself."

"Thanks Speed," Jude said with a grateful smile. She kissed him on the cheek and slipped quietly out the door, throwing a quick "Don't wait up," over her shoulder.

It stood before her. A great, looming fortress holding within it her deepest wounds and desires. A streak of lightning cut through the pitch black sky, illuminating for just a moment the ominous gray clouds hovering over the city.

Ok so the lightning thing didn't happen, but the girl was scared shitless she had the right to let her imagination run away with her. She took a few shaky steps towards the front door and silently chided herself. What was she so afraid of? This was just Tommy, her Tommy, there was nothing to fear except fear itself. Too bad that's exactly what she was afraid of.

She approached the front desk with a pleasant smile directed at the young girl stationed there.

"Hi, can you tell me where room 112 is?"

"Up the stairs and to your right," the girl directed, gesturing towards the staircase on the far side of the lobby.

"Thank you."

Each stair under her feet brought her one step closer to him. Every passing second reminded her that soon she would have all the answers. There would be no wondering, no imagining. The truth would be set out in black and white with no way to ignore it. Finally there she is, the numbers 112 staring back at her menacingly. She raised her hand, hesitated, and then banged loudly on the white door in front of her. Moments later it opened.

"Jude," he said softly, obviously suprised to see her. She forced a small smile.

"I have no idea what I'm doing here."

He nodded and shoved his hands casually in his pockets, watching her face as she continued the silent battle with herself. Finally the moment of awkward silence became unbearable.

"So are we just gonna stand here all night or ar you gonna come in?" Tommy asked, the question bearing more sincerity than sarcasm.

"What's gonna happen if I come in?"

Tommy searched her eyes before answering slowly, "You're gonna get the answers you need."

She sat on the edge of his bed, watching him pull a small bottle out of the mini-fridge and toss it at her. She wasn't old enough to drink, but right now she wasn't going to decline a little liquid courage.

"So where were you?" Jude asked, taking a gulp from the bottle. Tommy sighed and leaned against the wall across from her.

"I was in Montana."

Jude choked. "Montana?

Tommy nodded. "My brother, his wife died and he has a little girl. He couldn't handle everything so I went to help." Jude looked down and Tommy saw a flicker of disbelief on her face. "Look I know I'm not the most family oriented guy Jude, but he's still my brother."

"Who was the guy I saw you leave with?"

A bitter laugh escaped Tommy's lips. "My late sister-in-law's lawyer." This prompted Jude to raise her eyebrows. "Let's just say I've had a few run-ins with the guy before, Tommy explained. "But that's not important now" Another sip of vodka slid down Jude's throat as she processed the information.

"That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me, why you didn't call. 6 months..."

Silently, he moved across the room and sat down next to her. He took the bottle from her hand and swallowed the last sip himself before tossing the bottle aside. Jude watched him carefully, wondering what his next move would be. It wasn't long before she felt his hand, heavy and warm ontop of her thigh. She looked down at his hand and then back up at his eyes as he began to speak.

"In a way I'll never be able to make you understand, I was protecting you. I shouldn't have handled things the way I did, I should've explained, told you I loved you, anything but-"

"Tommy," Jude cut him off, placing her hand on top of his on her leg. "Just stop, ok?"

"I'm trying to apologize here."

"Yea well you're being really cheesy." A small smile played across his face as he brought his mouth to hover over hers. As he spoke his breath warmed her lips, and Jude's heart began to race.

"Maybe I am," Tommy whispered softly. "But tell me Jude, what would you want if we could have a second chance?"

"I would want you."

She said it so quietly she wasn't even sure if she heard herself, but the power of those words wasn't lost on either of them. Their lips connected in a heated, passionate kiss. The longed for familiarity of his mouth brutally caressing her's was enough to bring tears to Jude's eyes. Gently, he squeezed her thigh and ran his hand up to her hip. Gently. Every move was carefully calculated. He wanted to touch her, to make her feel exactly how much he missed her, needed her. But she was still angry. Despite the way her hands entwined themselves in his thick hair, cradling his face against hers, her heart was still broken, and possibly breaking more and more with every passing moment. Her hands abandoned his hair and gripped his shirt tightly, bringing his body tight against her own. While Tommy was being cautious, Jude was taking full control over the situation. She moved herself up on the bed and leaned back, pulling him along with her. It was becoming increasingly clear, personal vendettas were no match for the lust and need of wounded hearts.

Jude's head dropped against the pillow and Tommy's hands rested on either side of her, holding himself up as he hovered over her frail form. They both panted heavily, their lungs demanding oxygen, and Tommy took a moment to assess the situation. He looked at the 17-year-old girl lying beneath him, passion clouding over her azure blue eyes. His hand traced a line down her cheek, her chin, her neck, across her shoulder and down her arm, closing his hand around hers. Jude saw the hesitation in his eyes and with a small smile, she brought her lips up to his reassuringly.

"Tommy," she whispered. "If we had a second chance, right now, I would want you to make love to me."


	3. Come With Me

**Yay! 10 reviews! that's awesome you guys! I hope I'm not putting chapters up to fast (i also hope if I am you don't mind) but anywho here's your next update**

**Warning: very adult content in this chapter. Don't say I didn't warn you**

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"Tommy," she whispered. "If we had a second chance, right now, I would want you to make love to me." They weren't speaking hypothetically anymore and they both knew it.

"Jude..." He let her name drip from his lips gloriously as he bowed his head down to meet her in a kiss once again. His tongue explored her mouth hungrily, running across her teeth, over the roof of her mouth, under and over her own tongue, massaging it roughly. He then moved in and out, in and out, fucking her mouth senseless with his tongue in a promise of things to come. Jude wriggled restlessly beneath him, the sensation between her legs was growing ever warmer with the illcit actions their mouths were mimicking.

Still enthralled in the dizzying kiss, Jude let her hands wander down until she found the hem of his shirt. Almost instinctively she grabbed hold and yanked it up, and just as automatically Tommy broke the kiss and let her tug the article of clothing off his body. Her eyes drank in the sight of his bare chest. Breathing heavily, she reached up and ran her hand over the flexed muscles. She felt his chest rise and fall beneath her hand and his heart racing against it, in perfect beat with her heart beating against her own chest. She swallowed hard and brought her lips up to the base of his neck. Her teeth nipped at the skin there before she began the rest of her assault. She kissed her way down his chest, flicking out her tongue here and there to taste his flesh. A groan escaped from Tommy when she dragged her tongue lazily down over his abs, and restlessness finally won over selfish indulgence.

His hand found her left breast and closed around it, squeezing tight and massaging mercilessly. Jude's mouth immediately abandoned him and she threw her head back as pleasure coarsed through her veins. She lifted her arms up and he immediately stripped the shirt off her. Her pants soon followed. Tommy let his gaze roam her body, taking in every dip and curve, becoming familiar with what he could see and excited by what he couldn't as of yet. In one swift motion he expertly unhooked her bra and slid it down her arms before discarding it on the floor along with the other clothing. His mouth clamped onto her right breast while his hand continued working the left one. Jude could feel her mind growing fuzzy as ecstacy overcame her. Tommy alternated his hand and mouth, making sure to give each breast equal attention. Jude moaned loudly. His free hand traveled down her flat belly, stroking the milky white skin so softly it caused Jude to break out in goosebumps.

Tommy abandoned Jude's breasts suddenly and started a path southward. He paused to kiss her navel, dipping the tip of his tongue inside it and bringing forth a small gasp from Jude. A smile curved his mouth and he continued down. Kisses were placed along the top of her panties to her hip bone where he stopped to kiss the curve at the joint. Carefully he took her panties and pulled them down, guiding them down the length of her perfectly sculpted legs until they joined the mass of clothing on the floor. Now completely exposed before him, the virgin innocence and insecurity reflected on the face of the girl who had been the aggressor thus far.

"Don't look so worried," he whispered to her gently. "You're perfect." A small smile crept across judes face, her confidence returning.

"And you're overdressed." Before Tommy had a chance to respond his pants were shoved down to his ankles. He laughed a little before kicking out of the pants. He moved ontop of her and started kissing her neck fervently. His lips hovered over her pulse, feeling it race as he reached his hand down in between her legs. The heat eminating from her hit his hand before he even had a chance to feel the wetness dripping from her core. Slowly and sensually, he stroked her, spreading her wetness across her folds. A groan escaped Jude's lips at the sensation of Tommy touching her so intimately.

"Jude," Tommy whispered, bringing his lips up to her ear. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Mmm?" Jude moaned lightly in response. Tommy pulled his face up to meet her eyes.

"Scream," he said simply before thrusting two fingers deep inside her. Jude's cries rang out against the plain white walls and her nails raked against the sheets beneath her. A broad smile spread across Tommy's face as he watched the signs of pleasure play across hers. She bit her lip ever so gently, arching her neck in line with the rest of her body, letting him push deeper inside her. The site made what was left of the blood in Tommy's brain rush to his already rock hard dick. Jude's hips started to buck involuntarily as she teetered on the edge of an orgasm. Tommy abruptly pulled out of her.

"Wha-" Jude started to protest but Tommy brought a finger to her lips to silence her.

"The first time you come, I want it to be with me inside of you." A small smile tugged at the corners of Jude's mouth and she shook her head, abruptly flipping them over so she was on top and Tommy was lying flat on his back. She stripped Tommy of his last offensive article of clothing and looked up to meet his questioning gaze.

"You're not the only one who can be evil Quincey," she informed him. With excruciatingly slow movements she planted kisses down his length and then flicked her tongue out to taste each of his balls. She dragged her tongue back to his tip and took it in her mouth, sucking gently. The tip of her tongue traced the slit with slow, exploratory movements. A series of deep groans espcaped Tommy's lips as she moved her hands underneath him to cup his ass. She squeezed his cheeks firmly as she took a little more of him in his mouth. She took more and more, inch by inch, sucking the whole way down, hard but not hard enough to make him cum. She kicked the torture up a notch and inserted a finger inside him from behind. Tommy cried out, feeling himself get so hard it hurt. She moved her finger in and out of him a few times before he began to beg.

"Jude," he moaned. "Please..." She pulled completely away from him and brought her lips up to his in a loving kiss.

"Take me Tommy," she demanded softly and he didn't hesitate. In one swift motion they were flipped over again and Jude's hands were pinned down on either side of her. Tommy reached into the pack of condoms on his nightstand and took one out, ripping the foil open with his teeth and quickly sheathing his erection. Jude raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well aren't you prepared," she observed with a hint of sarcasm on her voice. "Feeling lucky?"

"Always," Tommy responded breathlessly with a small smirk. Jude rolled er eyes and he positioned himself on top of her. With more self-control than he thought he possessed, Tommy slowly began to enter her. Inch by inch, slowly and gently. He reached the barriers to her chastity and looked down at Jude, who was now shaking beneath him.

"Jude..." he said softly, cupping her cheek in his hand.

"I'm ok," she promised as her voice shook.

"Do you want me to stop?" Even as the question escaped his lips Tommy wasn't a hundred percent sure he could stop if he wanted to.

"No."

"Tell me what you want Jude."

"You, now," she demanded weakly. With a touch of hesitation Tommy took her at her word, driving deep inside her. Jude cried out in pain and Tommy began to thrust in and out of her gently, hoping the friction would relieve her a little. A minute later Jude gasped as the pain faded to pure pleasure, and she began to moan loudly. Tommy smiled as the expression on her face changed and started to thrust harder. He propped himself up on his elbows for leverage and pulled almost all the way out of her before slamming himself back in. Jude cried out and wrapped her arms around him. Her nails raked his back as he continued his fast and hard rhythm. Jude met him thrust for thrust, holding onto him for dear life as she lost control over her body.

"Tommy!" She screamed as a white flash of heat overcame her. Her nails dug into his flesh, leaving bright red scratches down his sweat-glistening back. Her orgasm brought his, and he hollered her name out at the top of his lungs. When he came down he found Jude laying in his arm, twitching as aftershockes coarsed through her body. He slid out of her breathlessly and tossed the used condom into the trash can at his bedside before turning back and cradling her against him. A few minutes later the shaking ceased and she looked up at him.

"You ok?" he asked gently. She smiled broadly and nodded in response.

"I'm perfect." She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes, snuggling up to him contently. Tommy's hand ran idly down her arm, just feeling her soft skin beneath his fingertips. They stayed like this, basking in each other's warmth, not even thinking about tomorrow, or what all this meant. Time passed in silence until Jude's muffled voice reached Tommy's ears.

"Come with me."

"I think we already took care of that," Tommy responded lightly. Jude propped herself up on her elbows and met his eyes with a serious expression on her face.

"I mean on tour. Darius couldn't give anyone up to chaperone us so it's just me and the guys, there's room on the bus."

"Jude I don't know..."

Jude's gazed burned into his. "Are you seriously gonna leave me again after this? Am I just some one night stand before you go back to your new life in mother fucking Montana?"

"No, that's not what I meant," Tommy said quickly, trying to calm her down. "It's just you still have a month left on this tour and Spiederman isn't my biggest fan, things could get messy and-"

"Am I worth it?" Jude cut him off.

Tommy sighed. "You're not playing fair Jude."

"It's been 6 months. After tonight, can you really live another month without me?" Tommy looked away from her and Jude let out an exasperated breath. "It's up to you Tommy, but 4 weeks is a long time. Just think about it, ok?" Tommy met her eyes and nodded. With an understanding nod in response Jude lowered her head back down onto his chest, letting herself drift off to sleep in his arms.


	4. Sanity

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The next morning Jude woke up with no one beside her. Her hand traveled over the spot where Tommy was supposed to be and she let out an annoyed grunt to find it empty.

"Tommy?" she called into the room around her, not awake enough to move. She heard a shuffling from the other side of the room and reluctantly forced herself into a sitting position. A bad move, as it turned out because she was immediately stopped by a distinct soreness between her legs.

"Ow," she said weakly before looking up to see Tommy packing a suitcase on the other side of the room.

"You're awake," he said without sparing a look her way.

"Very observant. What are you doing? Planning on skipping out before i woke up?"

He smirked and glanced over at her. "And risk your wrath? Never again."

"So what's going on?"

"You better take a shower," Tommy told her evasively, gesturing towards the bathroom. "We don't want the bus to leave without us."

Jude froze and looked up at him, and then slowly began to climb out of bed as if moving too fast would take back his words.

"Us?" she repeated quietly. Tommy smiled to himself but still kept his back to her. Jude reached his side and turned him around by his shoulder to face her.

"Did you say us?"

Tommy shrugged. "Well I figure I have a lot to make up for with you. And as much as I hope last night served as an apology, it would be counter-productive to share one night of passion and then just repeat the action that made you wanna hack off my balls in the first place, eh?"

"Tommy..." Jude just shook her head as a teary-eyed smile found its way onto her face. She threw herself into his arms and tears slid down her cheeks as she felt them close around her.

"Go get cleaned up, you don't wanna show up on a bus full of horny teenage guys smelling like sex." Jude laughed lightly and pulled out of the embrace, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I love you," she said, her voice choked with emotion. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"I love you to. Now go, we're gonna be late."

They walked towards the bus just in time to see the guys loading up to pull out. Kyle was the first to notice the approaching couple, and he turned to Spiederman with wide eyes.

"Speed was there something you wanted to tell us?"

"What?" Speed looked in the direction Kyle was gesturing and the guitar he was holding abruptly slipped out of his hands, hitting the pavement with a whack. Tommy and Jude were coming, his hand possessively around her waist.

"No fucking way..." Speed breathed. Jude was smiling contently as they reached the guys and she slid out of Tommy's hold.

"Hey guys, we need to talk about something." Her voice was a little unsteady as she directed the comment mostly at Speed.

"What's going on?" Wally asked, his gaze flicking from Tommy to Speed warily.

"Tommy's coming with us."

"What?" Speed asked angrily. Kyle and Wally just exchanged a glance. Jude grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the rest of the group.

"Speed do not make a big thing out of this!" she hissed angrily.

"This is a big thing! Dammit Jude how can you let him just-"

"It was my idea. Now I'm asking you as a friend to please just be cool about this ok?"

"I'm not bunking with him." Jude rolls her eyes.

"He can have the spare room at the back of the bus."

"Our bat cave?" Speed whined.

"Well if you prefer, he can bunk with me." Speed gave her the look of death before turning back to the others.

"Let's finish loading up guys, Zeke wants to hit the road within the hour," he informed the others, refering to their bus driver. Jude led Tommy onto the bus, Speed's glare never left them until they disappeared at of sight.

There was a small knock on Jude's door as she was putting away some clothes that had been washed on their last stop. She pulled open the door and saw Speed leaning against the frame, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Can I come in?"

"Are you gonna look at me or is the floor just that infatuating?" He reluctantly brought his eyes up to hers.

"I just wanna talk."

"So talk," Jude said simply before turning and walking back into her room. He perched himself on the edge of her bed and watched as she busied herself with her clothes once again.

"You're limping," he observed after a moment of silence.

"Am I?" Jude asked, trying to straighten out her walk a little.

"You look different to...you have a different glow."

"If you're gonna be checking out my aura Speed, please warn me so I can have the guys beat the gayness out of you."

"You slept with him didn't you?" She didn't answer, she just tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and kept putting things away.

"Jude?"

"It's none of your business," she said sharply. Speed let out a bitter laugh.

"6 months, you have been a fucking wreck Jude. He abandoned you he treated you like dirt. He called Kwest, Darius, he never called you, he never bothered to tell you the truth."

"He told me last night."

"He must've had a pretty damn good excuse for you to let him pop your cherry after all the shit he's put you through!"

"Watch your mouth!" she yelled angrily.

"What happened to he's just a memory, huh? What happened to wanting him to burn in hell?"

"It's complicated!"

"How complicated could it be Jude? You let him walk all over you and then fall on your back when he gives the word!"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Seems like it to me."

"He apologized."

Speed laughed and threw his hands up dramatically. "Oh he _apologized!_ Well how stupid of me of course that makes up for how he treated you!"

"Speed just shut the fuck up!" Jude screamed at him. "You're just jealous because I love him and I never gave a damn about you!"

Speed froze, looking at Jude with an unbelieveable amount of hurt in his eyes. Her hand clasped over her mouth in shock at her own words.

"Speed..." she began apologetically but he cut her off.

"So that's what I get huh?" he asked in a low, quiet voice. "For the nights I came to your house at one in the morning when you were crying, for every hour I spent listening to you vent about how much you loved him and how deeply he hurt you. After everything I've done to help you through what he did, this is how it turns out? I mean nothing?"

"Of course you do." With guilt weighing on her she reached out and took his hand in hers. "I didn't mean-" He jerked his hand away from her with fire burning in his eyes.

"Don't touch me you whore."

Jude met his angry eyes with her own tear-filled ones. He didn't just say that. Speed would never say that to her, no matter how angry he was. The door swung open and Tommy walked in. He had heard the yelling and now he took in the scene before him. Jude looking like she was about to cry, Speed looking angrier than he had ever seen him, both of their faces flushed from the screaming match they had just had.

"Everything ok in here?" Tommy asked quietly. Speed scoffed and shook his head.

"Prince charming comes to his lady's rescue...typical." He looked over and saw Kyle and Wally standing in the doorway. "Show's over guys, let's let Tommy and his pet have their privacy." With that he walked out, pushing past Kyle and Wally as he made his exit. The guys looked stunned and looked at Tommy in confusion; he just nodded for them to leave like Speed had not-so-courteously suggested.

When the door clicked shut Jude sat down on her bed, a completely lost expression filling her face as a few tears fell from her eyes. Tommy sat down next to her and gently brushed them away before leaning his head against hers.

"Girl did you really think he was gonna be ok with this?" Tommy asked gently.

"No but I didn't think he hated you that much," Jude said, looking down at her hands as she sniffed back a few tears. "I didn't think he could hate me that much."

"He doesn't hate you he's just...Spiederman. He's always been jealous of me when it comes to you."

"Yea when I was his girlfriend. Now what's his excuse?" Tommy shook his head and kissed Jude's temple affectionately.

"Don't worry about him ok, he'll come around. You had a long night why don't you just rest for awhile."

Jude shook her head. "I'm fine. I think I might just go beat mister ego into submission." She stood up to leave but Tommy grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down.

"Probably not the best idea."

"It's ok, I can take him," Jude assured him and tried to get up again only to be pulled back down. She sighed.

"Tommy..."

"Let the guys try to talk him down before you go giving your lead guitarist a black eye. You need him to look pretty onstage."

Jude sighed and leaned back on her bed, giving Tommy an annoyed glare. He smiled and glided his fingers lightly over the exposed strip of skin between the bottom of her shirt and the top of her pants. She let out a small giggle and batted his hand away.

"Ticklish Harrison?" Tommy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"And here I thought you knew everything about my body," she answered with a devious smile. She sat up and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him to her in a bruising kiss. Slowly she leaned back, pulling him down on top of her. They're kisses started to get hotter and more frantic and Tommy abruptly pulled away.

"You just had a fight, over me, with Speed, who is in the next room...this isn't the best idea."

"So you have guys fighting over you now?" Jude asked with a raised eyebrow. "Didn't know Speed swung that way, you must be quite the charmer."

Tommy rolled his eyes."You know what I meant." With a small smile still playing across her face, Jude looked down at her hands.

"Rest is starting to sound pretty good right now," she said quietly. Tommy nodded and kissed her on the lips before standing up off the bed.

"Don't leave me," Jude said. Although the statement carried the neediness of a little girl her voice and her eyes carried and increduous tone, as if it was ridiculous he could even think about leaving her to sleep alone. A smile tugged at the corners of Tommy's lips and he laid down behind her and pulled her to him. He pressed his lips to her shoulder and Jude let her eyes fall closed, wrapped in the small bit of sanity her world still contained.


	5. Backstage

**hugs people i love you guys. keep reading and reviewing! and if you're reading and not reviewing REVIEW cuz that's not nice**

**Once again, adult situations in this chapter. Don't worry this story isn't an errotic novel lol just contributes to the storyline. enjoy.**

* * *

"Are you really THAT upset he's back?" Kyle asked. Him and Wally had cornered Speed in his room, and were now trying to talk some sense into him. Speed just rolled his eyes and laid down, putting his hands under his head and staring up at the ceiling. 

"You should just be glad she's not bawling her eyes out anymore," Wally said.

"She stopped crying over him months ago," Speed answered coolly.

"Yes and she's been in this manic-depressive state ever since," Kyle argued. "She's happy dude why is that such a big deal?"

"You're not still hung up on Jude are you?" Wally asked.

"I care about her, I thought you two did to."

"We do, and Tommy's good for her. Dude, maybe you should stop trying to be her big brother and try being her friend." They got up and walked out, leaving Speed alone with his thoughts. A surge of anger ran through him and he grabbed a pillow and hurled it against the wall. He fell back of the bed, punching the mattress as hard as he could before covering his face with his hands. Why was this getting to him so much? Jude could do whatever she wanted, she was a big girl. She wanted to fuck up her life again, fine. It wasn't his place to stop her, and it wouldn't be his job to put her back together again when Tommy broke her heart. It was better for everyone if he just laid off.

The rest of the day everyone pretty much avoided each other. The next morning, Jude stumbled out of her room, following the smell of coffee to the front of the bus. Speed was standing there with a coffee carrier and a white bag. He looked up at the sound of footsteps.

"Didn't mean to wake you up," he said apologetically.

"You went on a coffee run?" Speed nodded in response. "But you never go on coffee runs, I had to promise to flash you last time just to get your lazy ass out of bed..."

"Which you never did," he reminded her with a small smirk.

"What is this?"

"This is me apologizing. I was a jerk yesterday."

"Yea," Jude agreed. "You were." Speed offered her the white bag with a puppy dog look on his face.

"I got a chocolate chip muffin, your favorite." Jude sighed and took the bag from him.

"So your ok with Tommy being here?"

"No, but I'll manage. It's all about you being happy right?"

"Glad to see you took your Midol," Jude said with a smile as she wrapped him in a hug. Speed let the fake smile drop from his face as he closed his arms around her, cradling her against him. Jude reached around him and grabbed a coffee before easing out of the embrace. A moment later Tommy walked out of Jude's room, and Speed couldn't hold back a flash of anger on his face.

"Morning," Jude said with a small laugh at Tommy's half-awake appearence. She grabbed another coffee and handed it to him. "You look like you need this."

"Thanks," Tommy said, looking from Jude to Speed with a questioning look. "Are you two talking again?"

"Yes Speed and I have made peace, and now I think you two should talk." Tommy raised his eyebrows at her and she simply returned the look before heading back to her room, breakfast in hand. Tommy and Speed exchanged a glance and both just shook their heads.

"Nothing to settle man," Tommy assured him. "Thanks for giving me a shot though, it means a lot to her."

"Why are you sleeping in her room?" Speed asked coolly. "You have a room."

"She can't sleep alone."

"She's done it before."

"Well, she can't now. We're not doing anything."

"Oh like you didn't do anything the other night in your hotel room?"

Tommy let out an amused laugh. "Jealousy is a bad color on you."

"I don't want you on this bus, and I'm not going to pretend I like you because I don't."

"You don't have to, just put on a tolerant front, for Jude." Speed looked down and shook his head. "Speed if you care about her half as much as I think you do just refrain from killing me in my sleep, ok?" Speed met his gaze and nodded. Tommy nodded back, sealing their silent agreement, and headed back towards Jude's room.

Jude looked up at the sound of the door opening and saw Tommy walk in.

"So did everything go ok?" she asked desperately.

"We're not best friends, but I think this is gonna work," Tommy answered, meeting her lips to cut off further conversation. Jude giggled and ran her hands through his purposely messy hair. She loved the way he made her feel like a giddy 12-year-old girl and a feminine goddess all at the same time. He did things to her mind that frightened and excited her everytime they came in contact with each other, and she wouldn't have it any other way. The need for oxygen became dire and they both pulled away, panting heavily as they're foreheads rested against each other. Tommy was about to say something when there was a knock on Jude's door.

"Jude! We're here!" Kyle's voice came through the thin barrier of wood. Jude instinctively leapt off the bed, pulling Tommy along with her as they went to view they're latest destination. They took it all in as they walked off the bus. The smog, the sounds of road rage, the size twos on they're morning jog, it all brought a smile to Jude's face.

"Good old L.A.," she said happily while the guys remained transfixed on the women joggers. With an aggrivated sigh Jude smacked all of them over the head in turn and they all gave her a sheepish look.

"Can we unload before we enjoy the scenery gentlemen?" she asked with a pointed glare at Tommy, who just gave her an innocent smile.

xXx

The auditorium burst out in applause as Jude walked onstage. She smiled at the overwhelming reception and turned back to Speed, giving him the cue to start the opening riffs of their first song.

"We're gonna start things off slow tonight," she said with a soft voice into the microphone. The music started and her soft voice soon followed.

_I tried to tell you, I've got to get away _

_I tried to say, I need my space_

_I've got to get some, distance in between _

_My heart and my head, I'm on the razor's edge_

_I've been here before I know the way_

_White lines, and headlights in my eyes _

_White lines, I'm ready to drive all night _

_White lines, how many 'til I'm in your arms _

_White lines, will bring me, _

_home..._

She began the second verse and Tommy smiled from backstage. He remembered recording this song, from stealing her journal to the celebratory kiss in Darius's office. He was jerked out of his memories by another presence at his side. He looked and saw a woman with a work shirt tied up above her stomach and a blonde ponytail resting high on her hand. She smiled up at him and then refocused her attention on the stage.

"She's talented," the woman commented with an impressed look on her face. "Most people who come through here are just over-hyped flashes in the pan, or they have the talent to carry them far but not the passion. She's the full package."

"Yea, she is," Tommy agreed.

"Katie Sloan," The girl introduced herself, offering her hand out to Tommy.

"Tom Quincey," he shook her hand and looked back out onto the stage.

"Yea I know who you are."

Tommy smiled. "Fan back in the boybander days?"

Katie shook her head. "Not even remotely. So is she your girlfriend, your ex-girlfriend or your infatuation?"

"What?"

"Jude. The whole continent knows you ran out on her but no one knows the real story."

"It was complicated."

"And now?"

"I'm on tour with her aren't I?"

"Vauge answers, sign of an experienced interviewee," Katie shook her head. "I'm not a reporter, just wondering for my own personal knowledge."

"Who are you?" Tommy asked in awe.

"My dad's worked sound here for 15 years, and I've been promised a job whenever I'm ready."

"Why do I get the vibe your not too big on the idea?"

"I like being behind the scenes," Katie shrugged. "I've chatted up a Rolling Stone, had drinks with Crossfade, even spent the night with Adam Gontier of Three Days Grace a few months ago. And look, now I'm getting the in depth scoop on Little Tommy Q's love life. Why would I wanna give all that up to work some soundboard?"

"There's other things you could do, things that let you get up close with the musicians."

"Yea but I have my own...less profressional ways of picking guy's brains."

"You haven't tried anything with me."

Katie laughed and nodded toward the stage. "You're spoken for, there's certain lines I don't cross."

"I never said I was spoken for."

"You never said you weren't," she countered. "You've had your share of women Tom, a lot of people's share actually. She seems like a keeper. You don't find those everyday."

"How do you know?"

"That look in your eyes is reserved for a man in love. Or very well endowed but I think you might be 2 for 2."

Tommy chuckled. "And there's the pass I'm sure your famous for."

"Old habits," Katie shrugged. Tommy was about to respond when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"Uh, I gotta take this," he said, pulling it out and checking the caller ID.

"It's ok, I'll just enjoy the show."

"Nice talking to you," Tommy said with his cell phone attached to his ear before walking off, leaving Katie gazing out onto the stage.

"Hey Kwest," Tommy said into the phone as he spared one last look back at Katie. "What's up?"

"It's been 3 days since you said you were going after Jude!" Kwest's exasperated voice came over the phone. "Tell me what happened. Are you walking funny?"

Tommy laughed at Kwest's eagerness and shook his head. "No but she was yesterday."

"You guys-"

"Yup," Tommy answered with a cocky grin, even though Kwest couldn't see him.

"Jude, our Jude, the one who froze you out for 3 days because you forgot to pick her up for work once, slept with you after you abandoned her for 6 months? Are we really talking about the same girl?"

"Things are complicated."

"As always," Kwest muttered. "So what's happening now?"

"I'm on tour with them."

"Your sharing a bus with Jude _and _Speed? Oh god..."

"Me and Speed aren't killing each other."

"Only because Jude has you both whipped. How long do you think that will really last?"

"Until we get home hopefully."

"Well good luck man...your gonna need it."

xXx

After the show Tommy knocked lightly on the door to Jude's dressing room and walked in just in time to see her sliding out of the jean jacket she had been wearing while she preformed. He smirked to himself as he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the side of her neck gently.

"Let me help you with that," he said, tugging at the bottom of her shirt. Jude laughed and swatted his hand away.

"Who was that girl I saw you talking to earlier?" Jude asked suspiciously.

"Jealous?"

"Do I have a reason to be?" she questioned. Tommy just smirked and glided his fingers over her stomach he kissed down her neck and across her shoulder. She shuddered underneath his touch.

"You're avoiding the question," Jude whispered as he moved back to her neck and bit down gently on her soft flesh.

"Your faith in me is touching," Tommy murmered quietly. He sighed when he felt Jude tense up and reluctantly pulled back a little.

"Her name was Katie, her dad works here, it was just small talk. Ok?"

"Then why did I have to drag it out of you?"

"Because your cute when your mad at me," he whispered, taking her earlobe in his teeth and nibbling gently. He blew hot air into her ear and Jude felt her knees get weak. With a small smirk Tommy moved away from her and over to the door; a soft click filled the room as he turned the lock.

"I think it's time we did a little trust exercise," he said huskily. Jude arched an eyebrow at him.

"Trust exercise? That sounds very...4th grade."

"I certainly hope not," Tommy whispered as he reached her side once again. He grabbed her around the waist and picked her up, causing Jude to let out a small yelp. With a laugh he set her down so she was sitting on the makeup table.

"Lift your arms," he commanded, and Jude obliged. He stripped her of her t-shirt and started to kiss down her neck and across her chest. Jude sighed contently as his fingers easily unclasped her bra and slid it down her arms. Tommy let his hands trace the curves of her bare upper body and Jude just watched him in wonder. If she trusted him with anything it was her body, what was he trying to prove? They're eyes met and a fleeting second later so did their lips. They broke for a gasp of air and Tommy tilted his head slightly before hungrily reclaiming her. Jude's tongue traced the shape of Tommy's bottom lip, silently asking for him to let her into his mouth. Instead of granting her access, he broke the kiss and looked at the space around them until his eyes fell on what he was searching for. Jude's eyebrows knit in confusion as he picked up the shirt he had discarded only a moment earlier.

"What are you doing?"

Tommy just smiled and folded the article of clothing until it was the size he wanted. One last bruising kiss was laid on Jude's lips before he brought her down off the make-up table. He turned her so her back was to him and brought the cloth over her eyes, securing it behind her head.

"Tommy-"

"Shhh," he cut her off gently. "You have to trust me."

"I do."

"Good." The sound of clothes hitting the floor came a moment later, and Jude felt herself being pulled back until her back came in contact with Tommy's bare chest. The sensual and unexpected heat of skin on skin brought a gasp from her throat. Her hands fell to her sides and grazed him on their way down, letting her know she was still wearing his boxers.

A calloused guitarist's hand stroked Jude's stomach. Smooth strokes over her soft skin, grazing her navel and causing the fire between her legs to heat up. The small sounds that came from Jude told Tommy he was doing job. With a wicked smile he lowered his mouth to kiss the sensative skin behind her ear. She gasped and he started to suck lightly. His hand traveled down past the waistband of her jeans and he continued his wicked teasing, pushing against her panties lightly. Jude moved against him, begging for an increase in pressure but he didn't give it. He gently rubbed her and felt her wetness seeping through the thin material. Jude let out an aggrivated grunt and he finally took a bit of pity on her. Moving her panties aside, he pushed one finger inside her. She let out a soft moan and tried to move to create the friction she needed but he wasn't having any of that. She would come when he was ready.

His hand abandoned her and moved back up to unbutton her jeans. They pooled around her ankles and Jude carefully stepped out of them and kicked them aside. Tommy roughly spun her around and brought her into a forceful kiss. He slipped his tongue into her partially agape mouth and claimed it, showing his dominance. Jude moaned against his mouth and he broke the kiss, spinning her around again and moving her forward so she was against the wall. The sound of foil tearing could be heared behind her and Jude let out a shaky breath.

"Say you trust me," Tommy ordered her.

"I trust you," she whispered and he slammed into her. Her hands slid down the wall in a futile search for support as he continued his fast rhythm against her from behind. Just as she felt herself at the brink of an orgasm he suddenly slowed, denying her the neccessary friction to bring her over the edge.

"Evil!" Jude panted. He ignored her and continued his slow and taunting pace until she came down from the edge and then he began to drive into her again. Again, he stopped before she could come.

"Tommy," she whimpered. "It's too much..." An unbearable need had overtaken her body and right now she would gladly give up a limb just to be able to come. He started up his rhythm once again, going harder and harder until Jude was certain she would finally reach her release. But she was wrong.

"I hate you!" she hissed breathlessly as he slowed again. "This has to be torture on you to." Tommy just smirked and started to, once again, thrust powerfully inside her. This time he didn't stop, he kept going. Harder, faster, deeper everytime until Jude finally cried out in release. He didn't stop. He kept driving against her, the force slammed her body harder against the wall as he was as deep into her as he could possibly go. He came all the way out of her and forced himself all the way back in. A second orgasm washed over her and he drove forward, now searching for his own release. She reached her third and it brought him over the edge, he cried out her name and thrust into her sensative body a few more times, making her come once more. A scream ripped through Jude's body as more intense sensations than she had ever dreamt of overcame her, she cried out at the top of her lungs.

And unfortunately, dressing rooms arent soundproof.


	6. Payback

**haha ok I've been ordered to update! hides from Jen So heres ya go**

* * *

Jude's final scream was muffled a bit by the four walls surrounding her, but to someone passing by close enough to the dressing room, it could be heard plainly. 

And at that moment Speed was passing by.

He froze when he heard the scream. A look of shock passed over his face followed by a look of anger. _You're not doing anything my ass_ he seethed silently. The screams soon died down and there was a soft thud. Resisting the urge to storm into the dressing room, Speed simple clenched his fists and walked away.

Jude and Tommy slumped down onto the floor with a soft thud, still entwined. Jude rested her forehead against the wall, waiting for her breathing to return to normal. Tommy just smiled and kissed her sweat-glistening shoulder.

"How?" Jude finally breathed out.

"I would've thought you had the mechanics down by now."

"No I mean...how could you..."

"Contrary to popular belief men have amazing levels of self-control, even during sex." Jude just gave him a sideways glance, and Tommy chuckled lightly. "Girl I love you, thats why I need you to trust me. Everything I do, I do for you. Everything."

"Everything?"

"How do you feel?" Jude rested her head back on his chest and moaned contently. "Then why do you keep doubting me?"

"I don't doubt you love me...it's just hard to forget everything you did and move on."

"Can you try?"

"I am trying. I'm really trying."

xXx

"What's wrong?" Wally asked as Speed walked up with a sullen look on his face.

"Nothing. What's up?"

"We're waiting for Jude, she always takes forever to get ready."

Speed let out a bitter laugh. "Yea, she sure does. You know what Tommy can look after her. We're only in L.A. until tomorrow night, I say we make the best of it."

"What do you mean?" Kyle asked. A sly smile spread across Spiederman's face.

"We're gonna have some fun tonight."

xXx

Jude buttoned up her blouse while Tommy leaned against the door, waiting for her to finish. She turned to fix her hair in the mirror and let out a low groan.

"You always leave me looking like hell."

"But it's worth it," Tommy smirked.

"I'm so not anticipating the day one of the guys see me like this."

"Kyle would turn around like he never saw you, Speed would throw a hissy fit...I think it should be Wally, his face would light up like a christmas tree."

Jude laughed. "Yea, poor Wally." She smoothed out the last of her hair and turned to face him. "Ready to go?"

"Yea, what do you think the guys are up to tonight?"

"Well, if tradition serves they'll go out, try unsuccessfully to get some ass, come back mopey at 3 in the morning and go to bed with a simple "i don't wanna talk about it" over they're shoulders."

"So we get the bus to ourselves?" Tommy asked with an arched eyebrow.

"You are a very pathetic human being," Jude informed him. Tommy just smiled.

xXx

Jude's eyes shot open to a room filled with total darkness. She blinked a few times to make out the numbers on the clock beside her bed and found 1:25 staring back at her. Her eyebrows knit in confusion and she groaned lightly, wondering what woke her up just as a squeaking sound drifted through her wall. The squeaking got progressively louder and Tommy stirred beside her. Jude pressed her fingers to her lips, signaling him to be quiet. Loud moans soon joined the persistant squeaking and Jude's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"I am the only girl on this bus right?" she asked Tommy quitely.

"Unless Wally's hiding something," Tommy muttered, trying to rub the sleepiness out of his eyes. Jude climbed quietly out of bed and crept out of her room, Tommy snuck out behind her.

Jude leaned on the wall next to Speed's door and waited for the screaming to subside. Once it did she took her fist and pounded repeatedly on the door.

"VINCENT SPIEDERMAN GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!" she screamed angrily. Tommy raised an eyebrow at her and she returned it with a glare. A few minutes later Speed came stumbling out of his room, looking very much like he had gotten dressed in two minutes and met Jude's eyes sheepishly.

"Um, hey," he said with a guilty look.

"What the hell is going on?" Jude demanded.

"Look, Jude I can explain-" Speed cut himself off as a blonde girl came out of his room. She leaned against the doorframe and looked from Tommy to Jude solemnly.

"Katie?" Tommy asked in disbelief.

"You know him?" Speed spat at her.

"You know her?" Jude asked Tommy in the same tone.

"We met briefly," Katie said with a smirk. "Hey Tom."

"Your that little hoe he was talking to backstage," Jude realized. Fire shot up into her eyes and Tommy put a hand on her shoulder to hold her back.

"Jude, easy."

"Look hun I could tell he only had eyes for you, I didn't do anything wrong," Katie defended herself.

"Really, what do you call this?" Jude asked gesturing between her and Speed. Just then Wally and Kyle came out of their room to see what all the commotion was about.

"What's going on out here-whoa," Kyle stopped short when he saw Speed and Katie's appearences and the pissed look on Jude's face. He quickly turned around while Wally's face turned a bright shade of red.

"Toldya," Tommy whispered to Jude, who in turn smirked and shook her head.

"Your buddy Speed here has been doing a little private concert," Jude informed her bandmates.

"Good for him," Kyle said. "Can we go back to bed now?"

"You know what I think I've caused enough trouble tonight," Katie said quietly. "I should go." She took a step towards the door and stumbled, Tommy caught her.

"Have you been drinking?" Tommy asked. Katie just pushed him away.

"I'm 21 I don't need to answer to you."

"You do if you bought booze for an underaged kid."

"Fuck off," Katie muttered and she pushed past him.

"How are you getting home?" Speed called after her.

"I'm ok to drive," she called over her shoulder as she walked off the bus. Tommy quickly went after her.

"Breathe on me," Jude ordered Speed after Tommy and Katie were off the bus. He looked at her like she was insane.

"Your not my mother."

"Dammit Vincent breathe on me!" Speed glared at her and reluctantly blew into her face. Jude's face scrunched up in disgust, but the expression was quickly replaced by anger.

"You've been drinking."

"No shit sherlock." Speed threw back.

"Speed how stupid are you! You go out, get drunk, and screw some girl you've known for an hour? What the hell is wrong with you!"

"It's no worse than soberly screwing some bastard you knew perfectly well was a jackass."

"What I do is none of your business because I'm not doing it 5 feet away from your room!"

"Doesn't mean I can't hear it!" he yelled at her. Jude looked confused for a moment and then realization dawned over her face.

"Speed I-" she began softly but he cut her off.

"Screw you, I know Tommy will," he spat angrily before going back into his room and slammed the door behind him. Jude looked dumbfounded for a minute and then turned to Kyle and Wally.

"Was this supposed to be payback?" she asked quietly. The two guys exchanged a glance and then nodded.

"You have to stop screwing with his head Jude," Wally told her.

"I'm not trying to."

xXx

"Katie!" Tommy yelled after her as she stormed off the bus.

"Leave me alone!" she yelled back. Tommy caught up to her easily and grabbed her arm.

"You were right when you said you caused enough damage tonight," Tommy told her. "You got an underaged kid drunk and then had sex with him, thats breaking about ten laws right there."

"What are you gonna turn me in?" she asked sarcastically. Obviously she wasn't too worried about it.

"No but-"

"Look I told you, I have my own way of getting things out of guys. Now I have a member of Spiederman Mind Explosion to add to my resume."

"You used him."

"He was using me to make your girlfriend feel like shit."

"Look I don't care about any of this. Do not drive home, ok? Let me call you a cab."

"I'm fine Daddy."

"No your not. You wanna kill yourself fine, but I can't stand by and watch."

"Why do you give a damn?"

"Because 6 months ago my sister-in-law was killed by a drunk driver, I've seen the damage it can cause. So you either let me call you a cab or I'm gonna carry you back on that bus and your gonna have to deal with Jude."

"Fine!" Katie said in exasperation. "I'll take the fucking cab."

"Good. Wait here I'll get my cell," Tommy instructed her before he went back on the bus. He walked into Jude's room and found her lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Is Katie ok?" she asked quietly.

"Yea I'm calling her a cab. Speed?"

Jude shook her head. "He hates me."

"He loves you," Tommy corrected her. "He hates me."

"This much?"

"I don't know, but I have to call a cab. I'll be right back, ok?" Jude nodded in response and Tommy kissed her lightly before grabbing his phone and walking out. He dialed the number for a cab company he had seen advertised earlier that day as he walked off the bus.

"Sunshine Taxi Service," a voice picked up on the other end of the line.

"Hi I-" Tommy began, but he trailed off when he looked around. She was no where in site, and as he searched the rest of the parking lot with his eyes he realized her car wasn't either.

"Sir? Do you need a cab?" An irritated voice cut through the silence.

"No," Tommy said quietly. "I guess I don't"


	7. Disaterous Turns

Tommy stormed onto the bus, his closed phone tightly grasped in his clenched fist and pounded furiously on Speed's bedroom door. As soon as it opened Tommy gripped Speed by the collar and threw him against the wall.

"What the hell!" Speed yelled angrily, but Tommy was in too much of a blind rage to care.

"She could die!" Tommy screamed in fury. "Did you think about that!"

"She said she was ok to drive!"

"Yea? And do you think you're ok to breathe?" Tommy asked, looking more than ready to slam his fist across Speed's jaw. Hearing the commotion, Jude came out of her room.

"What's going on out here?"

"Katie took off," Tommy explained, his gaze not wavering from Speed's cowering figure. "And it's this idiot's fault."

"Oh fuck off!" Speed declared suddenly. The new fire that sparked in Tommy's eyes zapped anytrace of his momentary bout of courage and his next statement came out in a stammered mess. "I-it wasn't my fault. I-I don't have any control over what Katie does, I've only known her for 3 hours."

"You knew her well enough to sleep with her."

"Tommy," Jude cut in, her voice soft, obviously trying to calm him down, "Maybe you should go lie down."

"Not while this jackass is still breathing."

"Tommy," Jude said again, her voice firmer this time. "Go." Tommy glanced at her and then back at Speed before pushing him harder against the wall and dropping him. With smoke practically billowing out of his ears he pushed past Jude and left her and Speed alone in the hallway.

"Well you have him on a pretty tight leash," Speed muttered, rubbing the back of his head.

"Are you ok?" Jude asked.

"No permanent damage." Jude nodded and turned to go back into her room, but Speed's voice stopped her. "Hey Jude, do you think Katie-"

"Tommy's overreacting," she cut him off sharply. "Look, don't worry. Whatever happens it's not your fault." With that she turned back to her room.

"It would make me feel a lot better if you actually believed that," Speed said quietly. Jude looked down to the floor and hesitated before disappearing back into her room.

"You should've let me kill the little jackass," Tommy's angry voice greeted her. She just rolled her eyes, but Tommy continued angrily. "What were you guys thinking giving a hormonal teenage boy his own room?"

"Do you wanna room with him!" Jude snapped. Tommy just raised an eyebrow but now it was Jude's turn to blow off some steam.

"I know your worried about this dear friend of yours who you had all of _one _conversation with but if she wants to get herself wrapped around a telephone pole that is her decision. You tried to stop her, very admirable, but if she didn't wanna be stopped that's no one's fault but her own! It's not yours and it's sure as hell not Speed's."

She fell down on the bed close to tears from anger. Tommy tried to put a comforting hand on her arm but she pushed him away.

"I'm sick of you two at each other's throats."

"I'm sorry," Tommy whispered.

"Whatever, I'm going to sleep." Jude turned off the light, laid down with her back to Tommy, and pulled the blanket up around her. End of discussion.

xXx

The next day they were packing up to leave. Jude saw Tommy talking to a man at the far end of the studio and her brow furrowed with confusion. Speed noticed this and followed her gaze.

"What's that all about?" Speed asked.

"I don't know." Jude answered. A few minutes later Tommy was coming towards them, a solemn look on his face.

"Jude, I need to talk to Speed for a minute," he said quietly. Jude looked from him to Speed with a raised eyebrow but since Tommy didn't look lethal she simply nodded and walked away. Speed looked at Tommy cautiously.

"I was just helping her with an amp-" Speed started but Tommy cut him off.

"I'm not here to hurt you and this isn't about Jude. Look, Katie's in the hospital."

"What?" Speed asked in disbelief.

"I was just talking to her dad. She lost control of the car, spun into a ditch. She didn't hurt anyone else but she was banged up pretty bad."

"I..." Speed was at a loss for words.

"I know you didn't know her that well, and you only slept with her to get back at Jude, but I still think you should go down to the hospital. There's a couple hours left before we have to go."

"Why aren't you murdering me?" Speed asked.

"Because next time I try Jude's gonna throw me out of a moving tour bus," Tommy said. "Now go, get to the hospital."

"Thanks," Speed said a little suprised.

"This doesn't mean I like you."

"You don't have to, just don't hurt me."

xXx

Speed walked into Katie's hospital room and sat down tenatively at her bedside. She was still unconcious, and covered with bruises and scratches.

"So this is what I get for being jealous," he whispered. "God Katie, your 21, your supposed to be able to take care of yourself. I'm just...a stupid kid." he sighed and looked down at his hands. "Jude hates me, Tommy hates me...not that I'm complaining, Kyle and Wally are keeping they're distance because they're scared of Jude, now I have this hanging over my head..." Speed lowered his head into his hands and just sat like that for a few minutes until he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. He didn't even have to look to know it was Jude. He sat straight again and held her hands in place on his chest.

"Tommy told me," she explained quietly. "Are you ok?"

"Tommy was right, I'm a jackass. This is all my fault."

"You didn't tell her to go."

"I didn't try to stop her."

"Speed..." but Speed had already gotten up and walked out of the room. Jude chased after him.

"Beating yourself up won't help her!" Jude yelled angrily. "Look I'm sorry you had to hear me and Tommy and I'm sorry that you thought this was the only way to get back at me but you did not make her drive!"

"Whatever," Speed muttered. He turned to storm off again but Jude grabbed him and spun him around. She wrapped her arms tightly around him in a hug, tangling her hand in his hair and burying her face in his shoulder. Speed reluctantly closed his arms around her.

"It could've been you," she whispered, and Speed could swear he heard her whimper into his t-shirt.

"I'm fine Jude," he told her in a horse whisper. "We need to get back to the bus."

Jude pulled away and looked at him with a furrowed brow. "Speed if you wanna wait and make sure she's ok-"

"We have a schedule to stick to," Speed cut her off. "Darius isn't that happy with you lately, one wrong move could mean your contract. I'm not risking that."

"He wouldn't drop me because of this"

"He would, now let's go." This was obviously the end of the discussion, because Speed turned on his heels and headed down the corridor towards the hospital exit. With a defeated sigh Jude followed him.

A few days passed uneventfully. From the moment they left the hospital Speed barely said 2 words to Jude, or anyone else for that matter. He stayed secluded in is room, void of human contact except when they were onstage, where he gave 150 because he was genuinely worried about what Darius would do if anyone screwed up this tour. Even when Jude called the hospital and found out Katie had been released, Speed's mood didn't lighten. Everyone on the bus decided to just give him his space and let him work out whatever was going on in his head on his own.

But he didn't work anything out. He went out every night, with or without the band, and usually came back about 3 am slobbering drunk. He locked himself in his room and wouldn't talk to anyone, not that anyone had a clue what they should say to him. They were all worried though. Even Tommy, on some level.

Finally, about five days after Katie's accident Jude decided she would have to be the one to make the first move. Speed came out of his room, holding his hand to his head in a futile attempt to relieve the throbbing hangover. Jude sighed and made him a cup of coffee.

"Are you ok?" she asked, handing him a steaming mug and sitting next to him on the small couch at the front of the bus. Speed shrugged and stared down at the dark liquid, using it as an excuse not to meet Jude's eyes.

"That's not an answer."

"What do you want me to say?" Speed asked quietly.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong."

"That's bull," Jude said, fighting to keep her temper level. "Speed your hurting, why won't you just talk to me?" Speed didn't answer and still refused to look at her.

"Is it me? Did I do something? Is this still about Katie?"

"What's with the third degree!" Speed snapped. "I'm fine, there's nothing wrong! You wanna shrink somebody go ask Wally about his mommy complex, or ask Kyle what it was like to watch his sister make a whore out of herself, or how about you crack the mystery of Tommy's life before the white suits because I don't fucking need it!"

Jude sat there, dumbfounded by Speed's outburst. He took a few steadying breaths and dropped his head into his hands; Jude could swear she saw a tear glistening in the corner of his eye. Tenatively, she reached her hand out to his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, hoping to calm him down a little. A few minutes of silence passed, but was soon interrupted by a persistent beeping coming from the kitchen counter.

"What the hell is that?" Speed muttered. Jude quickly got up and walked into the small kitchenette the bus was equipped with. She saw Tommy's phone sitting on the counter, flashing to alert him he had a new voice message. She could see the beeping wasn't helping the pounding in Speed's head so Jude flipped open the phone to turn it off. Then, with a second thought, she pressed the button to listen to the message.

"Should you really be doing that?" Speed asked as Jude pressed the phone to her ear. She waved him off and signaled for him to be quiet. As the message played out Jude's facial expression went from curious, to horrified, to completely shocked. Her breath caught in her chest and her face went ghostly pale. Seeing this, Speed jumped to him feet and hurried to her side.

"Jude what is it, what's wrong?" he asked hurriedly. Without answering she handed him the phone. Curiousity peaked, Speed replayed the message. His facial expressions pretty much took the same course Jude's had, ending in a look of utter sympathy towards her.

"Jude I..." he began but could find no words of condolence. Jude numbly walked over to the couch and took a seat, wrapping her arms around herself and looking off as though in a trance. Speed sighed and listened to the message again. This couldn't be true, there had to be a mistake. Even someone as pig-headed as Tommy wouldn't keep something like this from someone he claimed to love.


	8. It Was a Dark and Stormy Past

Sorry I couldn't get this up sooner it was being annoying

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Tommy came on the bus later that night with take-out. He smiled at Jude who was sitting on the couch with her hands firmly clasped in front of her. She did not return the gesture.

"You ok?" Tommy asked taking chinese cartons out of the large paper bag he had brought. She just continued to silently glower at him.

"Jude?" His voice sounded a little more concerned this time.

"How long were you going to hide it from me?" she asked in a hoarse whisper.

"Hide what?"

In a flash Jude was on her feet. She stormed over him and flipped open the phone that had been held in her clenched fist. She put it on speakerphone and played the message, burning holes into his eyes with her own.

_"Tommy, it's Denise. Look I realize you had to get back to Toronto, you had a life there and we couldn't expect you to give it up forever. But things are really falling apart without you. _

_That half-wit brother of yours couldn't raise a little girl if someone paid him and I have children of my own to worry about. You know I love Leslie but I think it's time for you to take some responsibility. There's still a chance you're her father and if you are I would hate for her to have to grow up knowing the broken man Ben has become instead of a real man who cares about her. And I know you care about her Tommy._

_ I know you have friends there and a job and Jude but maybe...something could be worked out? Just get back to me."_

There was a steady beep as the message ended. Tommy let out a shaky breath and slowly raised his eyes to Jude's, which were still boaring through him and now glistening with fresh tears.

"You shouldn't have answered my phone," he whispered.

"You are in no place to lecture anyone on ethics!" Jude snapped. "Now explain this to me."

"What do you want to know?"

"Let's start with the basics, who's Denise?"

"Leslie's nanny, she's worked for my sister-in-law's family for years."

"Leslie's your niece?"

Tommy nodded. "And Ben's my brother."

"What did she mean 'there's still a chance you're her father'?"

"Jude it's complicated..."

"Explain it to me."

Tommy let out a heavy sigh. "Ok but I think you better sit down." Jude nodded slowly and returned to her seat on the couch. Tommy bit his lip lightly, trying to decide where to begin.

"My brother and I were close. We had the same past, the same disfunctional family...and we needed each other to get through that. We hung out in the same circles to, so when Ben met Kathleen, his wife, I was already friend's with her. They were definately in love but they were very young, only 18, so after awhile things started to go a little sour."

"You and your brother both got into bad marriages at 18, isn't that cliche," Jude said coolly.

"I thought it would be different for them, they had something me and Portia never did. Anyway one night after a particularly bad fight and several shots of Vodka, Ben slapped her. She stormed out and I didn't know what else to do but go after her. We were both drunk, one thing led to another and..."

"You unimagineable bastard," Jude whispered. Tommy quirked an eyebrow.

"Did you just quote Titanic?"

"Seemed appropriate."

Tommy sighed and nodded in agreement. "I was stupid, really stupid. I was 21 and starting on this whole new road in life and there was this girl who had seen me in the good, the bad..."

"She was your brother's wife!" Jude yelled suddenly. "There's no excuse for that!"

"I know, you're right. 4 weeks later she found out she was pregnant. I knew there was a chance it was mine but...I saw a change in my brother then. They stopped fighting as much, it was like they were the couple that fell in love in the first place. I couldn't screw that up. So I packed my bags, came to Toronto and Georgia helped me get a start as a producer."

"But you never bothered to find out if she-"

"It didn't matter!" Tommy cut her off sharply. "He was a good father until Kathleen died. He loves Leslie, and when he lands back on his feet everything will be ok again."

"Doesn't sound like Denise shares your optimism," Jude said, nodding towards the phone. "How does she even know about this?"

"She was one of Kathleen's best friends, how do you think?"

Jude shook her head, shaking as she processed all this information. "Tommy if you are Leslie's father she has the right to know-"

"And what about Ben? He already lost his wife he can't lose his daughter. Jude you're just a kid you don't understand the situation."

"Just a kid!" Jude yelled jumping to her feet. "You didn't think I was just a kid when you decided to fuck me. You didn't think I was just a kid when you decided to run away without so much as an explaination, you were pretty damn sure I would be able to take care of myself. So tell me Tommy, what constitues me as a kid? I'm not a virgin, I have more life experience than some people 3 times my age, I'm almost the same age you were when you got married!"

"Easy," he said trying to calm her down.

"You know what Tommy, if that's really what you think of me then screw you. I'm done wasting my time." She grabbed her cell phone and jacket and headed off the bus.

"Where are you going!" Tommy called after her.

"None of your business!" Jude shot back. "And have your shit out of my room by the time I get back!" With that she stormed off the bus, leaving Tommy staring helplessly in her wake. He shot a glance to his right and saw Kyle and Wally peaking their heads out of their room. They quickly ducked back in when they saw him looking.

Jude walked as fast as she could away from the tour bus. It quickly escalated into a sprint and soon she broke into a full out run. She ran and ran until her lungs were screaming for oxygen. She collapsed down onto her knees, panting heavily and sobbing almost as hard. Tears warmed her wind-chilled cheeks and sobs shook her entire body. How could Tommy keep something like this from her? How could he not tell her had a kid? Or even possibly had a kid. In the 3 years they had known each other...Jude heard someone calling her name and jumped to her feet, ready to dash off again if it was Tommy, but instead she saw Speed stumbling in her direction. With a sigh she wiped the tears from her cheeks and walked over to meet him.

"How'd you find me?" she asked quietly. Speed shrugged as he reached her and gave her an evaluating look.

"You've been crying...did you confront him?" Speed asked wide-eyed. Jude could smell the alcohol heavy on his breath mixed with cinnamon gum. It wasn't a very appealing smell.

"You've been drinking again," she accused him in an undertone.

"Don't change the sublect..subject." Speed shook his head trying to clear it a little so he could talk to Jude. She sighed and led him over to a bench a few yards away, noticing how hard he was working to stay on his feet. When they were both comfortably seated Speed asked again.

"So did you talk to him?" Jude nodded in response as fresh tears warmed her eyes.

"And?"

"Speed..." Jude trailed off, searching for the words in her head. A sob escaped her lips and Speed took her chin in his hand. His breath still reeked of beer but his eyes seemed to pierce her with an intense and alert stare.

"Talk to me," he half-whispered, half-commanded. Jude found herself spilling out the whole sorted story. Tears burned trails down her cheeks the whole time she spoke but she couldn't have cared less. When she was done she felt drained, but oddly content, as if a huge weight had been lifted from her chest. Speed swallowed hard and looked at her shaking form, wondering what he could say to help her.

"Are you ok?" he asked finally. Jude smiled at him weakly and wiped her eyes.

"I will be. You know, you don't seem that drunk."

"A week or so straight gets you used to it," he shrugged. "People say I never act too drunk but I've had more tonight than any other night this whoooole week."

"Why?" was all Jude could think to ask.

"It numbs the pain. The pain of knowing I messed up, knowing someone else got hurt because of it, the pain of seeing someone I care so much about get walked all over by some stuck-up pretty boy."

"You care about me?" Jude asked with a small smile. He looked at her seriously.

"I do, and you deserve so much better than that thing you insist on flaunting around. You're too good for him Jude."

Jude shook her head. "He's all I wanted. When I was with Shay, Jamie, you...I always hoped it hurt him, just a little. I wanted him to admit, to himself if no one else, that he wanted me. Maybe I was just being stupid."

"You were never stupid," he assured her quietly. A tear rolled down Jude already stained cheeks and her shoulders shook softly.

"Don't waste tears over him," Speed whispered, wiping her cheek with the back of his hand. Jude met his eyes and her breath caught in her throat. Before she knew what she was doing she felt herself moving closer to him. It was like some powerful force was drawing their faces closer together and neither one of them was controlling it. Neither of them was fighting it either. Their lips touched for only a fleeting moment before Jude gasped and jerked back, doubt flashing in her brilliant blue eyes. Speed cupped her cheek in his hand and brought her lips back to his, this time taking control and deepening the kiss. Jude didn't pull back this time, she instead entangled her hand in his soft, blonde locks and opened her mouth, inviting his tongue in. They stayed like that for what felt like forever. The kiss was deep but innocent and never went farther than two friends pouring their deepest pains into each other in the only way they knew how.

The only problem, they weren't as alone as they might've thought.


	9. I'm Sorry

**i havent posted in forever! feel free to hate me.

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The darkness concealed him from they're eyes, but he could see them clearly from the light of the streetlamp they were seated under. Anger, jealousy and heartache all swelled up inside of him like a raging storm that he had no control over. When he saw Speed's arm wrap slowly around Jude's waist he had had enough, and came storming out of the shadows.

"Get the hell away from her!" he yelled ferociously. Speed and Jude jumped apart but his hand still lingered on her waist.

"Get out of here Tommy!" Jude shot back but he was beyond taking orders from her.

"Didn't you yell at me not 20 minutes ago for doing the exact same thing you're doing now?"

"I yelled at you for sleeping with your brother's wife."

"Making out with your ex is any better?"

"A little, yea!"

"Guys, stop!" Speed cut in, stumbling a little as he got to his feet. Sitting down he might not have seemed drunk but it was fairly obvious his legs were not in direct contact with his brain. "Look, Tommy she was just upset and-"

"And you were her knight in shining liquor?" Tommy offered. "Seriously man have you considered rehab?"

"Have you considered the fact your girlfriend chose me drunk over your jackass self without a second thought?"

Before he even knew what he was doing Tommy's fist was making contact with Speed's jaw. Jude let out a small scream as Speed fell backward. His head bounced hard off the concrete before he landed flat, not moving. Automatically Jude was on her knees beside him, trying to wake him up.

"He's unconcious," she breathed. Fire burned in her eyes as she turned to face Tommy. "You asshole!"

"I...I didn't mean...Jude..."

"Call 911," she ordered and Tommy didn't waste breath arguing. Jude stroked the top of Speed's head, careful not to move him, her whole body shaking with fear. She dimly heard Tommy's voice in the background but tuned him out, not wanting to hear his voice even if he was calling for help.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. A tear slid down Jude's cheek and landed on Speed's forehead with a gentle _plop_. It felt like hours had passed before the wail of sirens could be heard, and even longer before Jude felt herself being moved out of the way by EMTs. They allowed her to ride in the back of the ambulance back to the hospital, so she climbed in, casting a single vicious stare back to Tommy telling him exactly how far he had crossed the line.

And this time there was no going back.

xXx

Jude stood outside Speed's hospital room, watching through the glass window barrier. She had been there for about an hour, watching them draw blood and check his injuries, hoping futily that he would wake up. So far he hadn't. She was deep in thought when the sound of someone saying her name jerked her back. She spun around.

"Hey guys," she croaked out, meeting Kyle and Wally's solemn expressions. She tried to force a small, reassuring smile but she didn't seem to have control over the muscles in her face.

"Why aren't you in there with him?" Kyle asked.

"They're still running tests and stuff," Jude answered, turning back to the window. "They won't tell me anything, and he won't wake up..." Tears were threatening her for the millionth time that night. Kyle almost instinctively pulled her into a hug, which she sunk into gratefully. Wally took a step towards the window, looking in on his best friend with an uncharacteristic look of pure rage on his face.

"Tommy did this?" he asked quietly. Jude turned to face him with Kyle's arms still around her.

"Wally..." she began but he cut her off.

"We heard the fight Jude, and we know Tommy went after you. What happened? What could Speed have possibly done-"

"He kissed her," came a voice from the door to the lobby a few yards away. Three heads all turned to see Tommy leaning against a doorjamb, emitting a very dark aura. Kyle took his hands off Jude immediately.

"I kissed him back, you gonna hit me to?" Jude asked, her voice daring. Kyle raised an eyebrow at Tommy while Wally pinned him with a glare.

"With these two around I don't think I'm getting within a foot of you."

"Fine by me." Jude turned her back to him, refocusing her eyes on Speed's hospital bed. A doctor emerged from within the room, holding a clipboard and walking straight into the group, all of whom looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

"Ms. Harrison, were you able to contact Mr. Spiederman's parents."

Jude shook her head. "They're in Toronto anyway, they won't be able to make it out here. Look we're his family right now, I know you're not supposed to release any information but under the circumstances..." The doctor met her glossy eyes and nodded reluctantly.

"Alright, Mr.Spiederman-"

"Call him Speed," Wally interrupted.

"_Speed_ suffered a mild concusion."

"_Mild?_" Jude asked incredulously. "He blacked out!"

"There were, er...other factors that contributed to his current condition."

"Such as?"

The doctor let out a heavy sigh. "Speed's blood alcohol was .27 when he arrived, that's more than 3 times the legal limit. We're preparing to have his stomach pumped."

"Is he going to be ok?" Kyle asked. Tommy let out some nondescript sound under his breath and Jude shot him an almost fearful look out of the corner of her eye. She knew he had a lot of experience with this sort of thing, and he didn't seem to optimistic right now.

"The term intoxicated is a literal one. When a person drinks, harmful toxins get into their bloodstream and can effect-"

"Just tell us if Speed's going to be ok!" Jude snapped.

"With his prolonged, heavy drinking in addition to a head injury...we're worried there may be a chance of brain damage."

Jude didn't hear anything the doctor said after that. She stepped carefully towards the window and looked in at Speed. She had know idea how much time actually passed before Wally pulled her out of her thoughts, but the doctor was gone, as was Tommy. Wally's hand was clasped strongly on her shoulder, and his eyes were full of unshed tears he was fighting to hold back. Jude just shook her head and walked away from him, from Kyle, from the site of Speed laying lifeless in a hospital bed.

She walked clear out of the hospital. The cool wind that was blowing stung her tear-stained face as she marched foreward. She didn't know where she was going or why. Vaugely, she realized this was the second time tonight she had run away when things got to difficult for her to face. She had run from Tommy now she was running from Speed. When would it end? When would she finally have the courage to just face what was thrown at her?

A few bypassers watched curiously as Jude leaned up against the wall of a nearby building to catch her breath. Anger surged through her veins and she pounded the brick with her fists. She turned to face the wall and started attacking it like a mad person. She punched it over and over until her hands were raw and bleeding, she kicked it, banged her head against it, screaming angrily the whole time.

Two arms wrapped around her waist and a deep, familiar voice screamed for her to stop. She screamed _NO!_ back defiantly and kept flailing at a target she couldn't even see. Before she knew it she was being gently lowered to the ground, in an alley only a few feet away, so as to escape the curious and scared looks she had inspired on the faces of her audience. Jude dimly realized it was Tommy's arms around her and threw a few weak punches against his chest before the ability to lift her own arms drained out of her. With her last bit of power she threw herself into him, her arms landing around his neck and her face snugly burried in his shoulder. Loud sobs escaped her mouth, and the harder she cried the tighter he held her. He kissed the side of her head and cradled her gently. A few warm tears of his own slid cautiously down from his eyes and landed on the back of Jude's neck. They sat there, neither spoke. A soft boom of thunder could be heard in the distance, soon followed by a few gentle raindrops falling over the couple as if to try to wash away the pain.


	10. It Can't be Over

**hmmm im not getting as many reviews as i have been. if you're reading, please review. reviews make me happy )**

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The rain was still falling steadily when Jude's sobs finally faded away. She didn't move, neither of them did. It was like some mystic bond would be broken if they let go of each other and all the anger would come flooding back. Jude finally lifted her head and met Tommy's eyes with a timid look. His lips shook as he pressed them to her forehead, but Jude wasn't sure if this was from emotion or the fact they were both soaked through and freezing. Tommy was at last the first to speak.

"We need to head back," he whispered. Jude shook her head slowly. "Jude, you're freezing."

"I don't wanna see him...I don't want him to die..." she whimpered.

"He's not going to die," Tommy said a little too firmly. "But all you're doing right now is making Kyle and Wally sit there and wonder if two of their friends are gonna make it out of this alright. And at this point they're probably more worried about you." Jude didn't answer. If she wasn't so warm in his arms she would've probably left him alone on the alley floor by now.

"I don't care if you still hate me," Tommy pressed. "Your band, your _friends_ need you right now." She still didn't answer, and she had stopped looking at him. But as Tommy slowly rose to his feet she rose with him, and they headed back to the hospital in silence.

xXx

"Jude!" Kyle exclaimed as her and Tommy found themselves in the hospital waiting room. Wally looked equally relieved and ran up to hug her, but stopped when he caught sight of her hand.

"Jude what did you..." he trailed off, seeing the deep wounds and dried blood running down her arm. Jude let out a choked laugh.

"That? Oh nothing I just punched the shit out of a brick wall." Kyle and Wally's faces blanked in union and Kyle hurried to grab the magazine nearest him.

"Why?" Wally asked dumbly.

"Be glad it was a wall, and not your face dude," Kyle muttered, avoiding eye contact with Jude.

"Scared Bateman?" she laughed. Kyle nodded.

"You're a tough chick."

"Why thank you," Jude said in a thick voice, batting her eyelashes overdramatically. As the three of them laughed there was the loud sound of throat clearing behind them.

"Glad to see you all in better spirits!" The familiar doctor said cheerily, at which they all immediately sobered up.

"No no, it's fine," he said quickly, noticing their change in demeanor. "I don't think you're friend wants you guys depressed over him, he'll want a little laughter around this place."

"How would you know?" Wally asked sharply. A broad grin crossed the doctors face.

"He told me."

Never have four expressions changed that quickly. Even Tommy's eyes gleamed a brighter blue at this revalation.

"He's awake?" Jude asked.

"And he keeps asking for chocolate covered pizza..." the doctor added in an almost confused voice. Jude and they guys laughed.

"Can we see him?" Kyle asked.

"Right this way."

The doctor led the way out of the waiting room with Kyle and Wally hot on his tail. Jude started to follow, but then hesitated and turned back to Tommy. He shook his head, signaling he wasn't planning to follow. Jude nodded in understanding before hurrying down the hall after the band.

"...now this doesn't mean there isn't still a possibility that damage has been done," the doctor was saying when she caught up. "Just because he didn't fall into a coma doesn't mean the brain hasn't suffered harmful effects. I want the three of you to keep a close eye on him. No more drinking..."

"Don't even worry about that," Jude said firmly.

"...and if he starts to feel off in any way I suggest he sees a doctor. But unless more symptoms show, I'd say for now you have your friend back."

They reached Speed's room and the three of them rushed in, all bombarding him with greetings, reprimands, and a back-breaking hug on Jude's part. When he finally got them to back off a little fresh tears were already filling Jude's eyes.

"Don't do that," Speed said gently. "I'm fine."

"Man they had us thinking you were gonna die, you can't blame her for being a little emotional," Kyle cut in. "After all she is a girl."

He ducked just in time to miss the pillow Jude hurled at his head.

"Guys do you think I could talk to Jude alone for a minute?" Speed asked, looking down at his hands. Kyle and Wally exchanged a knowing look and both patted Speed on the shoulder. Kyle gave Jude a soft, brotherly punch on the arm before walking out.

"So..." Jude said when Speed didn't speak immediately. He looked up at her with a serious expression on his face.

"Don't be mad at Tommy." Now Jude looked away. "Jude seriously, it wasn't his fault. ...Ok maybe it was his fault a little but I probably would've punched me to. I shouldn't have kissed you."

"Hey, it was a good kiss," Jude said with a small forced smile.

"Yea," Speed agreed. "But it wasn't right. You were upset and I was smashed and I'm kinda glad Tommy was there to knock me out or things might've gotten completely out of hand."

"Speed you know I love you," Jude whispered.

"Never the way you love him...and I'm ok with that. He really is a good guy, and I know he'll take care of you."

"You make it sound like I'm marrying him."

"I could see it happening."

"Speed he lied to me!" Jude yelled, standing up from the edge of Speed's bed where she had been seated. Speed winced.

"Jude, head," he said holding his hand to his temple in pain. Jude bit her lip and sat back down.

"Sorry..." she said quietly. "He didn't tell me he could have a daughter. I mean even once we got together. Didn't he realize how much this could turn my life, _our_ life upside down? I can't just forgive him."

"Oh like you don't have your secrets?" Speed challenged. "Like you filled him in on every detail of your past relationships? He didn't think you were ready to know obviously, and from his point of view I can see why."

"Your actually agreeing with him?" Jude asked in shock. Speed shrugged.

"I don't wanna see you give up everything over this."

"You amaze me when your sober."

"Get used to being amazed then," Speed said with a small smile, looking down at his hands. "They said I might not be so lucky."

"Good to have you back." She wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug. Speed smiled and closed his arms around her in return just as they heard a throat clearing in the doorway.

"Stop hogging him Jude!" Kyle's voice sounded. Jude laughed and let go of Speed.

"All yours...I'll be back later."

"Where are you going?" Speed asked as she rose to her feet.

"You just make sure tough guy here doesn't start tearing up again," she said nodding towards Kyle who glared at her in response. She flashed him a smile and hurried out of the room.

xXx

Tommy was still sitting in the waiting room when Jude returned. Her heart raced as she drew a deep breath and made her way over to him. He glanced up at her but didn't speak.

"He's alright," Jude said quietly. "Kyle and Wally are talking to him now...God I was so sure something horrible was going to happen."

"He was really lucky," Tommy said. Jude nodded.

"This has been one crazy tour huh?" Tommy smiled in agreement. "Tommy...I don't regret anything that happened. But if I can't trust you..."

"So where does that leave us now?" Tommy asked.

"You lied and I kissed Speed...does that make us even or hopeless?" When Tommy didn't answer Jude sighed and pressed on.

"Our last stop is in Montreal tommorow," Jude said quietly. "You can come with, or you can take a cab back to Toronto tonight. It's up to you."

"You're giving me an ultimatum?"

"It's not an ultimatum Tommy it's a choice. Do you want to be with me or not?"

Tommy looked down at his hands. "I can't get the image of you two out of my head."

"I was upset."

"So everytime you get upset you can go off with whoever you want?" Tommy asked sharply. "Like you said, it's all about trust...and right now I think we might be better off just spending some time apart."

"So this is it?" Jude asked, her voice choked. She didn't expect Tommy to give up this easy.

"I'll be waiting when you get home and we can just say what happens on tour stays on tour."

"I'm not ok with that," Jude whispered.

"Well then, we'll just have to figure that out then. I should get going, there'll be traffic soon. Tell Speed I'm glad he's ok."

And just like that he was gone, leaving Jude alone in the waiting room. They had been pulled too tight and finally snapped under pressure. Jude was too tired to cry or even think. She sat there, shell shocked. It couldn't really be over.


	11. Take Me Under

I have made you guys wait FAR too long for this update, i apologize. This is the last chapter of the story, and i will be posting the sequal ASAP. so sorry for the delay. if your reading PLEASE REVIEW. thank you. love you all.

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"2 minutes Jude," Speed said softly. They were in Montreal. It had been a powerful concert, due largely in part to Jude's current emotional state. She had let every feeling pour out through every song but now needed a break before her grand finale. This was a song her and Tommy had written together on the tour bus.

"I can't do this," she whispered.

"It's just one song."

"It's not," Jude said shaking her head. "I can't sing it without him here."

"I hate to be insensitive," Speed said checking his watch. "But when you're out there, it's supposed to be all about the fans. You can trash the bus or something later but you just need to give them one more song. Ok?"

Jude drew a shaky breath and rose to her feet, grabbing her guitar in the process. _Just one more song... _she thought to herself. _One more song..._

Tommy sat in his car in the packed parking lot, staring up at the great building in front of him. He had arrived in Toronto, grabbed his car and just started driving with no set destination. Now he was here. His eyes burned from the crying he had done last night. Their last conversation played over and over in his head. He had been wrong to leave her like that. Too many times they had been pushed over the edge and hurt each other because of it. He had to make it right, and this time he couldn't let her go again. With a determined face Tommy pulled the keys out of the ignition and headed inside.

Jude faced her crowd with a small smile and leaned into her microphone.

"You guys have been great tonight. I'm gonna wrap up with something you haven't heard before, but look for it on my next album." She nodded towards Speed who began to play the opening riffs. With a heavy heart Jude began to sing.

_Now it seems I'm fading _

Tommy ran up the stairs to the auditorium, taking them two at a time. He was stopped by a guard.

"Do you have a ticket sir?"

"No," Tommy said, out of breath. "But I have to get in there!"

"No ticket no entrance."

_All my dreams are not worth saving_

"Get the hell out of my way!" Tommy shouted angrily and punched the guard square in the nose. He staggard backward and Tommy dashed inside.

_Done my share of waiting  
And I've still got no where else to go _

Tommy reached backstage and saw Jude through the curtain, her back to him. Kyle caught sight of him and almost dropped his drumsticks, but recovered quickly. Tommy signaled for him to be quiet and grabbed an extra wireless microphone from a box nearby.

_So I wait for you to, take me all the way Take me all the way..._

Jude had no idea why the crowd burst into applause just then but simply smiled at them and opened her mouth to continue singing. Her voice was not the next one heard however.

_Seems your wanting me to stay... _Tommy's voice sang out, catching everyone but Kyle and the audience off guard. Jude turned to face him, unable to breathe let alone sing. Tommy smiled at her.

_But my dreams would surely waste away  
And I'd still have no where else to go  
So I wait for you to,  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way_

The music picked up Tommy grabbed Jude's arm, pulling her closer to him. His touch brought her voice back, and their eyes never broke from each other as they dove into the chorus.

_Push me under  
Pull me farther  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way_

_Push me under  
Pull me farther  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way_

Jude broke away from Tommy with a small smirk on her face. Tommy's breath caught as she began to circle him as she sang, dragging her hand across his chest and shoulders.

_Now it seems your leaving  
But we've only just begun  
And you've still got no where else to go_

She ran her hand down his neck, moving her body torturously close to his.

_So I wait for you to  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way_

She moved to break away again but Tommy caught her around the waist and brought her back to him. Jude gasped in surprise as Tommy smiled wickedly.

_Push me under  
Pull me farther  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way_

_Push me under  
Pull me farther  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way_

They continued to sing out in union.

_And I've been waiting so long  
And I've been waiting so long  
And I've been waiting so long..._

Jude's breath was shaking as she softly sang out on her own, Tommy's eyes locked with her's.

_So I wait for you to,  
Take me all the way..._

Tommy grabbed her around the hips and turned her around so her back was flat against him. He held his hand over her stomach and they moved together to the beat of the music.

_Push me under  
Pull me farther  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way_

_Push me under  
Pull me farther  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way_

They broke apart and began to circle each other slowly, their bodies coming as close as possible without actually touching.

_And I've been waiting so long  
And I've been waiting so long  
And I've been waiting so long..._

Jude once more pressed her body against Tommys, chest to chest. She rested her hand on his shoulder and looked deep into his eyes.

So I wait for you to  
Take me all the way  
Take me all the way...

The second her voice faded out Tommy leaned down and claimed Jude's lips with his own. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sunk into him, tears streaming steadily down her cheeks. The audience rose to their feet, screaming their applause. Jude pulled away from Tommy and turned to them, smiling broadly and taking a deep bow. A rose landed at her feet and she turned to see Spiederman winking at her. She laughed lightly and started to walk over to the band but Tommy had other plans. He grabbed her hand and dragged her backstage into her dressing room. Jude heard the door click closed and felt herself get slammed up against the wall.

"Why...did you...come back?" she got out between kisses. Tommy pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

"Because I'm sick of us always giving up. This time, we're doing it right. When we get back to Toronto we're announcing ourselves publicly as a couple, telling Darius to fuck himself if he doesn't like it, and you're moving in with me."

"Do I get a say in this?" Jude laughed.

"Are you objecting?" Tommy asked, moving his lips down to her neck.

Jude shook her head "Sounds perfect." She felt Tommy's lips curve into a smile against her skin as he reached down and pulled off her shirt.

"I think you have a dressing room fettish Quincy," Jude accused before devouring his lips once again.

xXx

"To the end of another kickass tour...and thank god!" Speed toasted as they all raised their champagne flutes together.

"Cheers," the rest of the group chorused. Speed only took a sip of his before setting it aside, earning a smile from Jude.

"So lovebirds," Speed said directing everyone's attention to Tommy and Jude. "How are you expecting everyone to take the news?"

"I don't really care," Tommy shrugged, lacing his fingers with Jude's. Wally acted like he was gagging until Jude shot him a look of death.

"You will wanna watch out for my dad," Jude said. "Last I knew he has a registered handgun."

"I'm glad you came back," Speed said to Tommy. "You can't expect us to take care of this girl forever."

"Shove it Vincent," Jude said, her cheeks turning pink. They went on like this for the better part of the night, sharing jokes and stories, until finally everyone decided to turn in. Jude walked Tommy off the bus, he would be following them back to Toronto in his own car.

"I'll see you tomorrow I guess," Jude said looking down at their joined hands, reluctant to let go. Tommy laughed lightly.

"I can't believe I even dreamed of leaving you again," he said, leaning down and giving her a slow kiss. When he pulled away he leaned into her ear and whispered. "You're an angel." The moonlight reflected of Jude's eyes as she smiled up at him. She felt 15 again, the bright-eyed redhead falling in love with her producer for the first time. Now here they were, over 3 years later. Something about this moment stuck in Jude's heart. She felt the sanctity of their relationship surround her, and she knew she would never really lose him. Tommy leaned down and kissed her once more before turning back to the parking lot where his car was waiting for him.

"See you in Toronto," he called back as Jude started to walk back onto the bus. She just smiled and closed the door behind her.


End file.
